I was recently rejected for a scholarship that I have applied for two years in a row, and I wanted it more than anything. facing rejection for something that so important comes with a certain amount of pain. for now, I have to figure out if pursuing this dream is realistic and whether it fits into my life anymore.
the scholarship had to do with teaching overseas. I'm okay here, but I'm not teaching. and the thing is, I see these teachers around me who are stressed and overwhelmed and taking pay cuts left and right and I have to question my future and I have to ask myself if I made the right choice.
I wanted it so bad, just imagining my life overseas was so fantastic that it put a vice around my
heart. it depresses me to my very core to think about how I failed, and
not for the first time. I'm heartbroken, it hurts, and I'm grieving, and it sucks.