Sunday, January 20, 2013

c'est la vie

I was recently rejected for a scholarship that I have applied for two years in a row, and I wanted it more than anything. facing rejection for something that so important comes with a certain amount of pain. for now, I have to figure out if pursuing this dream is realistic and whether it fits into my life anymore.

the scholarship had to do with teaching overseas. I'm okay here, but I'm not teaching. and the thing is, I see these teachers around me who are stressed and overwhelmed and taking pay cuts left and right and I have to question my future and I have to ask myself if I made the right choice.

I wanted it so bad, just imagining my life overseas was so fantastic that it put a vice around my heart. it depresses me to my very core to think about how I failed, and not for the first time. I'm heartbroken, it hurts, and I'm grieving, and it sucks.


  1. I'm sorry you didn't get your scholarship, that really sucks. Are there any other options for teaching overseas? maybe you could try something new? good luck with reaching your goal. I know it's not the same thing but I get how you feel - I was bummed a few years ago when i didn't get into the school I wanted to.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear this! I've been heartbroken about things not happening for me, too. Um. . . I don't know what you teach or if you're specifically looking to go to a certain area, but my sister-in-law taught ESL to kindergarten kids at a private school in Seoul for a year. The school paid for A LOT of her travel and living expenses and I think she got a food stipend or something? Anyway, depending on what you teach and where you want to go, I know just from her experiences that a lot of Asian & oriental schools want American teachers to teach ESL. *Shrug. Just an idea.
    Note: she is now back in the US (and we are happy!) and has since been unable to find another teaching job. She's currently working as a nanny. Teaching is such a hard career to get into right now, which is unfortunate. We need good teachers.


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