the fog is lifting

can you believe how long it's been since I've updated my blog? is it even a blog anymore? is anybody out there?

anyway, I have moved out of my fabulous apartment, which probably explains my absence for the most part. no more little adventures to report, or macarons eaten, or taking myself on dates to my favorite little spots around town.

it's not an ideal situation, but I'm surviving. I couldn't do it alone, and I'm very fortunate to be dating someone so fantastically perfect for me that it makes me wonder what I did to deserve his attention.

for now, I am here to say... I'm here. I hope to be able to enjoy writing more in the near future. I can feel extraordinary things happening.

life lately

I know I have been cruddy at updating. a lot has been going on. I would say that I will be better about it, but I honestly don't know if I will! so for now, here is a short life update:

I have been exploring the city a lot,

and eating macarons. so, so many macarons,

occasionally some "real" food,

and consequently doing yoga several times a week,

and of course, doing my nails and getting away on the weekends,

and going on lots of dates. with myself,

oh and maybe with Brett Dennen as well,

we're an item now, it's no big deal.

I have been a bit of a social media freak lately. instagram has always been a favorite, so feel free to check it out if you haven't already! my username is sofia_maria.

I can't promise that I will post more often, but I can promise that I will try. I hope my few readers enjoy my efforts on this extremely photo-heavy post! ♥

I don't give a fig

about a year ago, I won a wonderful book from a blog called Veggie Kids. then, everything we owned went into storage for 8 months. then, I began unpacking, found this lovely book, and promptly whipped up one of its recipes.

the book is Ripe by Cheryl Sternman Rule. the recipe is Fig and Wheat Berry Salad with Blue Cheese. except I hadn't the slightest idea where to get wheat berries, so I toasted up some pine nuts and threw those in. it was to die for.

if you ever have a moment to take a peek at this book, do it. it's organized by color, and it's just too cool. here's the Vine version for your viewing pleasure:

life update

well, well, well.

about time I actually wrote about life.

starting this week, I am no longer unemployed, yay! I am officially a parapro at a local high school. as someone with a teaching degree, this feel like a bit of a step down, but I'm thankful for any opportunity that comes my way. plus, this particular district is super flexible should an offer for a teaching position come my way, which is super awesome.

my dad recently went to Austria for a week on business, and I'm excited to go hang out with my parents next weekend. I can no longer take long weekends to visit them, but c'est la vie. I'm happy to have a job, anyway. it was getting a bit monotonous, being unemployed. I was spending way too much money and spending way too much time vegging out. I occasionally found some productive ways to spend my time, though.

but I think I'm ready for a new chapter. with this readiness comes lots of anxious feelings to find an apartment, but the amazing autumn weather and changing leaves (and lots of retail therapy) are helping sooth my nerves.

I hope I'm happy at my new job. I hope I find my place there, and work well with the people around me. I also hope I remember to take time for myself, and to work harder at being healthy and exercising more. I will try my best to keep life simple, and to embrace the little things that make me happy, and to spend more time with my best friend. I hope you all do too!

ah, life

so, I recently re-read a couple of emails that I (stupidly) kept in my inbox. one was saying that I was not chosen to be a Fulbright scholar in Italy, and the other said that I was not chosen to receive a scholarship to travel to Italy for one month and learn Italian language.

again, it has me wondering. am I not meant to travel, even though I feel like it's what I want to do more than anything? again, it has me wondering whether education, while I do love it, was the right path for me. I've loved writing and photography since I was in high school. I had dreams of being a photojournalist. somehow, I abandoned that when other people told me they thought I would be a good teacher, so I went for it. I just feel stupid that I let other peoples' opinions on what I would be good at change the direction of my entire life, without stopping to take my own feelings into consideration.

it's not only that it's hard to travel as a teacher, but I feel old. it sounds stupid, but it's true. as a writing or photo major, I would have graduated 2 years ago, and who knows where I'd be now? I'm turning 25 this year, and I haven't accomplished nearly what I thought I would have by the time I was 25. I think for the past few years, I've been too caught up in living in the moment, and I literally took no time to realistically assess what I wanted to do with my life in the long-term. not once did I ever ask myself if this is what I really want to do. not once had anyone else asked me. I know I can be successful and I now that I will enjoy teaching, but there's always that but...

again, I don't want it to sound like I don't want to be a teacher anymore. I love special education. I love my students, and teaching them is challenging and fulfilling. I just want to do more. I'm struggling with inner peace, and I'm waging a war against myself.

by Wednesday, I should hopefully have a clearer idea. I just know that I can't turn back time.

down to the wire

my last blog was a little morose, but I feel that it's important to acknowledge these things when considering, you know... my life.

traveling for a little while has really allowed me to experience a pretty profound paradigm change. traveling is neck and neck with my priorities of finding a job after graduation. it is expensive? yes. is it scary? heck yes. but it's exciting. I'm definitely exploring my options, and seeing what's out there.

I just wanted to clarify that I certainly haven't given up on teaching. certainly not before I've even started. there are lots of exciting opportunities for teachers abroad and in other US cities. I guess I will just have to see what happens.