c'est la vie

I was recently rejected for a scholarship that I have applied for two years in a row, and I wanted it more than anything. facing rejection for something that so important comes with a certain amount of pain. for now, I have to figure out if pursuing this dream is realistic and whether it fits into my life anymore.

the scholarship had to do with teaching overseas. I'm okay here, but I'm not teaching. and the thing is, I see these teachers around me who are stressed and overwhelmed and taking pay cuts left and right and I have to question my future and I have to ask myself if I made the right choice.

I wanted it so bad, just imagining my life overseas was so fantastic that it put a vice around my heart. it depresses me to my very core to think about how I failed, and not for the first time. I'm heartbroken, it hurts, and I'm grieving, and it sucks.

no place like home

well, today I made it back to Ann Arbor after a long vacation away.

I love spending the holiday with my family. for the past two years, I have been out of the country on Christmas Day, so I've been savoring my time at home while I had time off from work. my birthday, Christmas, New Year's Day, and my dad's birthday are all crammed into a 2-week span of time, and it's always a ton of fun.

when I arrived home, a ton of goodies I ordered had arrived including some hats from Lindsey Nicole's etsy shop, my Burt's Bees holiday grab bag, and this lovely notebook from Kinsey. how awesome is this? Kinsey created these beautiful notebooks, sold them on her blog, and the proceeds went to charity. perfect gift with the bonus of warm-fuzzies for donating to a very worthy cause.

we also went to downtown Rochester, Michigan for my birthday dinner before I left for Mexico. the city of Rochester lights their buildings downtown from top to bottom during the holidays, and it's awesome to be down there at night. when I returned, we celebrated Christmas. my mom and I cooked up a storm (including crawfish macaroni and cheese) for New Year's Eve, and we went back downtown for my dad's birthday dinner before I had to jet back to Ann Arbor. it was all wonderful, and I always get sad leaving my family after the holidays. it will definitely be difficult to start working again.

I hope you all had a wonderful season, and that you all got everything you wanted this year. I know I did.